The Great Illusionist

Reality

I have never meet someone who was better at illusions then YOU! No matter the day or time you can make me feel like there is something there and then within the next second it seems like it was just in my perception. Have you ever had someone in your life that was able to make you feel, see, sense something but turns out there were no feelings, you were blinded to the obvious and you have no 6th sense? I am so tired of the illusions , the smokey mirror, the extra strings and the trapped doors. STOP escaping ever stuck scenario. I need you to be caught in the moment and just realize this trick is no trick at all. In any small second it could become REAL!!

Fantasy

 Here at this very moment I sit on the edge of my seat. We have all gathered to see the magic you can do. All of us believe that someway this is real. You can make people disappear, bunnies come out of hats and chop up people and have them still be whole! So your assistant Deceit brings out a box. Normal enough , we have all seen the trick where the magician is closed in a box drowning in water , chained until they can figure a way out. You seem so nonchalant like the idea of drowning doesn't even phase you. You climb in for all to see , chained down. They start to pour in the water and the seal is closed. Two minutes go by, then four then six but when it reaches seven you seem to panic. The struggle on your face can be seen , the crowd starts to outrage and I clinch my seat. A part of the audience came to see a show but I came to see reality. The reality that if  Deceit can not break you out of  the box this just may be the end of your illusion. You can no longer claim to be the Greatest Illusionist alive. Your stage assistant comes running out with a hammer of truth. As you fall out of the broken box you realize this is the end. No one believes you anymore, we can see straight through your tricks. The captivation of your magic is gone and I REFUSE TO BE TRICKED BY YOU AGAIN!



Faith in a Glass Cabinet

So I know I haven't posted in a while. I really just forgot my log in... I know, I know but luckily I found it! Well this post is going to take a different turn. In my life right now I am at a point where REALITY is a headache. I find myself lately keeping some faith in a glass. Now that may not make any sense trust it makes no sense to me either. I put away a dream I hold dear to my heart hoping one day it will happen. I place a want that I desire in the glass along with it. Now this glass is made up of all these things but inside the glass is a little faith. Only a little, I can't bare to put a lot nor do I trust myself to. I don't want to have to sit in despair and disappointment. So if these things don't happen I'll just break the glass all together and clear all the shelves. I'll leave room for nothing not even a reflection because I'm sure the women I used to be won't be the same ever again.. Maybe Ill break the cabinet also, it's probably just taking up space.  Im sure I would end up buying another cabinet but next time no glasses I'll just take whatever comes along and store it away..

Call me SuperWoman

Today has been one of those days where I feel totally accomplished, sexy, smart and together... Right?!! At least that's how I think a women should feel everyday. Well I got a major french project done. J'ai fait un bonne travil!!  I spend countless hours on school work, at work, cooking, cleaning and taking care of business. I never get  time to just enjoy. I suppose that will come later maybe after grad school and serving. I took time out to day dream in one of my classes today. I found myself thinking about traveling to all my dream places. At the top of the list is Egypt, India and France. Oh no worry if I have a child or two they'll come along. I can totally see me on the back of a camel dressed fresh in gold and white linen while my baby who is hung low near my chest protected from the dessert sun. Or even eating dinner at the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris with my 5 inch heels, a fresh summer skirt and lace chemuiser top dinning on champagne and chocolate covered strawberries with my baby in the stroller and pouring my husband a glass!  Ohh but those trips will just be taken when I'm done with my philanthropy work in 3rd world country's orphanage's. A far stretch you say, ha ha you must not know me!!

Fantasy

Whoosh, flying in from a hard night. I caught 18 rapist, 6 murders, 20 drug dealers, ended the world of poverty and took away all sadness!! Ugh , I don't even want to think about what tomorrow will bring. I look out the window and I am amazed. Now the citizens can sleep in peace. But what about me, why should I carry all these things on my heart, why do I feel like I have to do this every night. I just can't understand why I always do this to myself. Now I am tired beyond belief and there is still work to do. As I kick off my shoes, take off my stockings and this extremely barely there outfit I feel alone. Oh you ask about the outfit, not only do I have to do good but I have to be a maintain this image of a unrealistic fantasy, only unrealistic if you are not me!! Now I'm lying in bed , it's just me. The real me, no frills, high heels and or capes. Just my aching head, my tired eyes, and wanting heart! Who saves is there to save the hero after she saves the world??

Reality

To all those women being superwomen, from one women to another it's appreciated. But do realise we can't do it all that's why we have God. Don't give up to much of yourself. At times our hearts can get in the way of reality but rest assure God gives us all a job and where you leave off there is always an appointed finisher!!  Always stay within His will!! Rest up there is more people to save tomorrow!!

Breaking Glass

So this will be me venting!! I am tired of people calling and telling me what I should do.. Like I need you to keep reminding me of things I am already trying to do. Your calling is unnecessary. How about you call and ask so how far have you got in this or has this worked out yet. Do NOT call me with your nonsense I am not answering those calls now!! Ugh if your not going be any help then just remove yourself and YES I can be upset, cry and whatever else I want to do. It's MY LIFE, MY PERSONALITY and MY DECISIONS.. Live your Life and I will definitely Live Mine!!
Fantasy

Sitting in the kitchen I begin to wash the dishes. I reach over to grab a wine glass and this  irating screech can be heard. The glass now has a little crack. I think oh well maybe they will just shut up soon. It's ok things like this happens when you have noisy neighbors. I examine the glass and notice that its fine crystal has now cracks all over. I want to run over to the neighbors and say SHUT UP!! But whatever maybe I will just throw it away.  As I pick the glass up it completely shatters in my had.  This perfect pigmented glass is completely in pieces.  I cannot believe it I lost a nice glass and cut my hand. I realise that blood is  seeping out and I have to take time out to nurse the wound, before I clean up the mess.... I gather my bloody hand run out the door and bang on the neighbors door. A rage takes over and all I can say is.... I don't need you to quiet down I NEED YOU TO MOVE THE HELL OUT, BETTER YET I WILL!!

Butterflies in the belly

Anxiety, is a phase.. hmm Sike!!!  A million things to do and no TIME.. Idk even where to start maybe on this homework, maybe on sleeping, maybe on my heart. Cofee only helps so much then comes drive. A passionate drive to suceed and get the job done. Time running out and my nerves are kicking in....

Fantasy

Im standing in a field. As I gaze over the pink and yellow horizon I think how beautiful this sight is. The sky is ripe in colors like a juicy mango. I think I can see your silehoutte breaking through the field. This is the momment, this is the time.. As I stand up I can feel the butterflies wings flutter softly aganist my skin.  A smile breaks on my face as I begein to walk near. Then butterflies shoot all around. I can't see you in my view anymore. Well let me just embrace the butterflies for now. How beatiful a creature, im sure when they fly to there destination you'll be even closer to me!!

Stage Fright

So I am crushing bad... Do I like the feeling No not really. The vulnerability of making a fool of yourself and the unknown is not really fun. Although being excited when I see your face and looking forward to awkward moments is cool. Its like I have a secret and your not in on it. Would it still be fun if you were to find out? Running around looking out for you like a little girl on the playground is a little fun but also extremely nerve wrecking!

Fantasy
So Im back stage , all the anticipation of getting on stage is consuming me. I rehearse my lines over and over while putting on my foundation. As the brush strokes my face I wonder if I'll forget how to act. How to show emotion and  be genuine. I wonder if the audience will be able to see straight through me and realize my flaws. Maybe they will be able to tell that this is something new and I just started acting.  I put on my lipstick and smile. A dash of perfume and im off.. A silent prayer asking God to help guide me. Then it's LIGHTS, CAMERA and ACTION!!! Except I went through those lines a million times, acted out every bad scenario and you did not show.. Oh well maybe tomorrow night. Yes I think maybe tomorrow you will make the show, I only hope this show will be playing that long...

Another RAINY DAY

It's one of those days where everything seems SOO Good but there is something missing?? Looking out on all my dreams and goals I feel like I am getting closer but still lagging behind in the race of life. I just want to get away from all the resposebility's and just sit in my day dreams. Dreams are soo sweet and beyond compare. No other time can things be so fake but oh so REAL..
(Fantasy)

 Don't wake me up let me dream just a little but only if the dream is better than reality. There is no way to tell if the dream is better if you don't wake up though.. Im listening to the soft drops of rain hitting my window pane so I decide to step out in it. Allow the rain to soak me. I hear thunder coming should I run for cover or continue to let the rain fall. I've decided as the storms come in life im going to weather them out no matter if I lose my shoe, umbrella and coat. No matter what the storm brings I have God with me.......